Into a New Decade.

An extra-special retiree at the ranch; Trugan was my childhood horse that I leased from ages 9-13. He now gets to join our herd in his golden years to be spoiled and loved endlessly.

In four weeks, I’ll be 30. An age I’ve thought a lot about in my 29.99 years of life. An age that for as long as I can remember, I thought would finally “fit me”.

I’ve never felt my age. I was the kid growing up that was always more comfortable with the adults than my peers. I was teaching at the college level when I was barely out of college myself. I was married by 22. Owned a ranch by 26….you get the picture. “Wise beyond my years” would be the kind thing to say, “feeling a complete need to reject my youth” is probably more realistic.

And then, all of the sudden, there it is. 30. The age I’d wished I was (or sometimes even lied I was) for so long.

And isn’t it just the damndest thing to discover this close to the “goal post” that what makes me happiest, what fills my cup and feels fueled with meaning, is the one thing I loved most when I was just a kid.

Same horse, different decade. Me and Trugan in 2009.

To have rediscovered horses, has been to rediscover me. And I have to say, I really like spending time with the gal I see in the mirror. She’s not perfect, but she doesn’t really care. She’s smart, she’s brave, and she gets to wake up in a world she’s created and have it be filled with all of her favorite things.

I don’t know what 30 holds for me. Unlike when I was turning 20 (or even 25), I don’t have my next thing completely mapped out, charted, studied, and frantically manifested on.

But if I’m sure of one thing it’s that, that gal I’ve come to know, she’ll figure it all out regardless. She always does.